So, I believe the truth is the best and most important thing in life. That doesn’t mean I think you need to go about routing out other folks’ business. I mean your own, that will keep you busy enough, anyway. You won’t have time to go stirring up other folks.
I also believe that telling the truth about your circumstances is the first most constructive thing you can do about it. And, along with that, I believe you don’t let yourself dwell on the negative. Tell it like it is, be moving at the same time.
Here goes: My broken leg is not healing on the schedule I planned, nor on the doc’s. The bone is in alignment, and that is very good. The two parts are not knitting together completely. And, they discovered a hairline fracture (a crack, if you will) in my elbow. Actually, they ‘discovered’ it because I pointed it out and told them I believed it was a fracture – surprise, it is. They should have known this 10 weeks ago. This is whom I am dealing with and I’m doing my best to be a good advocate for me. My orthopod is one of the very best, but in a cast of characters that are nowhere near up to par, nor close to his standards.
I don’t tell this for personal sympathy. I know, for a fact, that I am going to be fine. All I need, and will need, is present. I say it because I know many people who have suffered a long time with conditions and illnesses that were improperly diagnosed, or not diagnosed at all. They have had bad and wounding experiences with the healthcare community. They have had to listen to the ‘it’s stress’ nonsense ad nauseam. I say it because I can identify with, and truly understand, their experience, their physical and emotional pain over it, and their exasperation. You must be your own advocate the very best you can. You must become educated about you, and how that ‘you’ operates.
Again, meditation comes to my rescue. I sit on my cushion. I breathe, and watch my breathing. Listen to it. I listen to the sounds around me; hear each one clearly and identify it. Then, I let them go, hearing but giving them no names. I think of my heart beating, tirelessly. Your heart beats for you constantly, with no rest. I contemplate the job my heart does. It doesn’t know from good or bad, or other things it might be doing. It does what it does because it does what it does. That’s it. It knows its purpose, and as far as is possible with it, it does that purpose – it serves . . . and, well. I know that’s what’s within me. From this, I know that I am willing and able to serve me to my very best regardless of what circumstances may look like. As long as I am breathing, I am able to prevail. I am able to help others, who are willing, to prevail also. You are, too. Your heart, my heart, all those with hearts – it is not an organ made carelessly. For the most part, nothing is left out, forgotten, overlooked. Remember that about yourself – it’s true from the inside out. Remember that, meditate on that. You are complete, sufficient, able. . . right now, just as you are. Pick it up, you can do it.
I sit on my redwood deck, built by the hands of my husband. The day can’t make up its mind. The sky is cotton-stuffed with clouds, deciding whether to give us one of those gorgeous, dramatic late afternoon thunderstorms, or to pass it on to the city some miles away. A gentle breeze moves the lilacs, and the birds are talking. I am here, right here with it all. It’s ok. I can do it, whatever it is and I will be happy in it. I am in this moment. When you lay out your plan, see it all – open it wide, get the big picture. You’ve got lots of letters in the alphabet – start with A.
As always, may peace be with you; and, thank you so much for stopping by. Lilie