Hussein’s comments prompted me to think more about fear, accepting and overcoming it. There are aspects to that conversation I hadn’t thought about. This is a subject with dimension. I’m tackling here the open discussion of having a fear, what does that mean to anyone? To you?
When I first openly discussed the fear I was dealing with, fear of public performance, it seemed to make others uncomfortable. No one wanted to talk about it. I was told by one woman that I was exposing myself as weak. That got my attention. I had never thought of that, and could not understand that concept – that people would see me as weak because I admitted to a fear that I was working on overcoming. Hmm. . . . Privately, I was getting email, phone calls from local folk, and I was stopped by a couple of women, acquaintances, to discuss why they had discontinued activities in their lives, but they both said they would never admit to that, because of the way it would be seen, admitting to having a fear. Gives you something to think about. Is it weak?’
I couldn’t see that. I can’t see the weakness in openly, forthrightly accepting something that you struggle with. Obviously, others were struggling and it was guiding their decisions for what they wanted to do in their lives. When I began speaking about this openly, the fear seemed to lose its grip on me. It no longer was an entity outside of me with its own set of rules. It was just the thoughts in my mind, over which I could begin to exercise control. I felt stronger, in all situations – some not connected to fear. I began to feel more confident.
I see now this is a subject worth some discussion. Many aspects. Are you exposing yourself as weak, if you admit to a fear? How so? Do you necessarily have to reveal something you feel is that personal to attempt overcoming or accepting it? My answer to that is No. If you are admitting to yourself the truth of the thoughts of your mind; the truth of the things you feel bind you, and you are setting them out before y-o-u, examining and understanding them – changing the direction of your thought life – good for you. I don’t think that requires telling anyone else, if you don’t want to. For me, I knew others were struggling with the same thing and it was holding them back. I knew they weren’t going to speak up. And, I felt it was important to speak up so others might benefit.
What you feel shame about, what you hide – binds you, almost guarantees it will be what has control of your thought life. That’s more painful and crippling than a bit of skin off from any embarrassment brought on by exposure.
Thank you for stopping by. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. Perhaps we all learn.