Again, thank you to those folks who hang in there with me. The heat has definitely affected me this year, I bet many of you can say the same. I have to blog when I can and take time out from the blogosphere to regain momentum.
While resting this time, I worked on a shawl that I had been knitting. I came to a place where the stitches were no longer correct. I worked the pattern, over and over. Then, I remembered that definition of insanity: You know, the “doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result”, well, that was me. But, sometimes we do need to review. We need to go over the steps, see where the pattern is. Finally, I had to disregard the pattern and just look at what the stitches were intended to accomplish. I followed that, built my own pattern and it came out correctly, voila shawl done!
We have to follow a path, review, pay close attention to where the patterns are, and what we expect to find in them. In this instance, I wanted a shawl that had a certain type of stitching. I got that, but I had to re-think, reorganize and examine. I decided what was important about the project and how best to arrive at the desired result. I had to stop trusting the written instructions and work on experience and intuition.
I think living with chronic pain is like that, as well. We need wise counsel, information and education to form a plan. And, we need to learn when to make adjustments, what to keep and what to discard. It’s a process, doesn’t stay the same for long. It’s been an ongoing lesson in learning how to trust myself. Learning how to trust myself – even when I’m wrong. Yes, even when I’m wrong – that I will see I’ve been wrong; be willing to admit I’m wrong (regardless of ego-attachment involved), and that I will regain a path toward positive result. It’s easy to trust ourselves when the instructions are clear and correct. It isn’t as easy, when the instructions don’t give the result expected and we must find our own way through. Trusting ourselves in difficulty, that’s the challenge. That’s the one I’m presenting to you. What will you do when your plan goes off course? Fight it, or find it? Here’s that choice thing again. You can trust yourself in uncertainty just as you can when all the stitches line up. You have to choose to find it.
I hope you’re taking care, staying as cool as you can. Thanks for stopping by. Lilie